So I think it goes without saying that this past year has been one of the hardest years for just about everyone in the world. It has pretty much affected everyone regardless of economic status, race, age, etc. Not only has this pandemic been hard, there has been so much heartache and sadness in addition with it. I thought last year was a pretty tough year for me with my parents going through a divorce after 35+ years of marriage, but add this past year on top and it’s been such a hard past two years. Not only was it \hard because of the pandemic, but someone who is very close to me was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer; I was 35+ years old when I discovered that adults can be just as hurtful or even more so than kids can be – that people I trusted and “let in” let me down and just didn’t/don’t care. I can’t put into words how hurt and let down I have felt both last year and this year…I’m still trying to process it all.
With all that being said, I do know that I have grown as a person and have come to realize that God is definitely the only one Who I can trust and Who will never let me down. Even that is hard to grasp right now seeing the person I love going through chemo and radiation on top of an already hard season for them…why would God allow it? Why do some people go through so much and others not? Anyways…I digress.
Even though this year has been tough, there has also been some good things to come from it. I just want to list out all the things that I hope to remember from this 2020 year – the good and the bad. It will not make sense to you, but I am hopeful that listing these things out in one place will help me remember all the feelings I felt this year.
- 2020 – optimistic start to the New Year…new planner, new goals, new me
- Emmalyn’s Princess Party for her 6th birthday
- my dad selling the Bella Vista house and moving to Hot Springs
- 4 leaf clovers
- crying every night when coming home from work at the City because of not feeling included and other reasons
- cardinals
- more quality time at home as a family
- walking on lunch break at the City because everything was shut down and there was nothing else to do
- AGFOA resignation
- AMI schoolwork for Emmalyn’s Kindergarten year
- thankful for the ability to stay home with the girls on Mondays & Fridays during the months of March – May
- new swingset for the girls
- walks with my girls around the pond during the months of March-May
- long drives to look at possible lake homes
- Emmalyn’s virtual schooling for 1st grade
- getting Tucker, our Miniature Schnauzer
- someone close to me finding out they have Stage 3 cancer
- Emmalyn’s Kindergarten drive-thru graduation
- P. Allen Smith’s home and gardens tour with Amanda and my grandmother
- pumpkin patch with the girls, Pops, Gigi, Amanda and Tristan
- buying a small cabin on the lake
- quitting my job at the City
- starting a “part-time” job at a church and learning all the things
- anxiety and sleepless nights = reading from 1 am-3 am nightly
- baking more with the girls
- praying more
- Walmart Grocery pickup
- not opening my planner for weeks on end
- Virgin River series books
- 66 books read
- Fixer to Fabulous on HGTV (filmed here in NWA)
- embroidery
- Hidden Pictures Sticker fun
- puzzles
- creating a playroom and getting bunkbeds for the girls
- missing my work friends at the City
- Sleepytime tea
- limited blogging
- feeling like I am fine one moment and wanting to cry the next
- feeling like I’m not enough at both work and home
- getting to sit in the school pick-up line for Emmalyn and then heading to pick up Claire
- Suja green juice
- outdoor Thanksgiving meal
- pretty substantial paycheck decrease and not carrying my own insurance or contributing to 401k for the first time since entering the workforce
- decorating our living/dining room space with Modsy
- rainbows
- Amazon boxes galore
- Sermon on the Mount study by Jen Wilkin
- Lakefront Bargain Hunt on HGTV
- Write the Word journal
I’m sure there are more, but all of these have significance to me in the year 2020. Some things were hard, some of the things helped me cope, some of the things were wonderful memories.
Here is to 2021!
Until next time, keep it simple…
Lindsey
